Online and In the Pink

This was written one February while I was living in Charlotte NC and my aging parents were still in Opelika AL in the home where I grew up. My mother cared for my Dad at home until he died in 2007 then she moved to Wilkesboro NC where she enjoyed several years of independence at Rose Glen Village. She is now living in Morningside of Auburn where she is happy and well-cared-for. My Aunt Clara has been institutionalized with Alzheimer’s disease for over ten years, now.

I see a lot of family love in this memory…

Online and In the Pink

My Mom is now getting my old desktop computer because I have a new laptop that moves with me like my dog. I hoped my parents would find mental stimulation using the internet and a new, easy way to communicate.

It started simply enough. I brought her the computer, printer, keyboard, speakers, wires, cables, microphone, and mouse and put it on the dining room table because there was no other available space. I have since been working to get it off the table and set-up in her bedroom. I got here Tuesday night and this is Friday. In spite of my efforts to do something for her, she has ended up doing way too much. She is now taking a nap.

First, she found an antique desk in her basement which I cleaned thoroughly. Then I picked it up and muscled it around to the front porch before we found termites. So, I wrestled it this time into the trunk of my car and drove it back around to the basement where she found it, and while she called pest control to come check the house for termites, I went to K-Mart and bought her a computer table.

Of course the table was not assembled, and just removing it from the trunk of my car in the box proved impossible. So, I opened it and moved it inside in pieces. Then, using the enclosed eight pages of instructions, we started putting it together. That was Wednesday, and now late afternoon, and she kept working while I went out to Bruno's and bought food and cooked supper. After a surge of brain sugar, we got back to screwing parts together and reading instructions which provided mental stimulation of the rarest kind.

Some of the parts were missing (flat washers and spring washers) and it looked like a third of the screw holes hadn't been drilled. (Imagine that!) With pieces and parts littered all around her house, we crashed and went to bed.

I woke up eager to get back to my project but we noticed a leak in the kitchen sink with water running out of the cabinet onto the kitchen floor. We cut off the water and called a plumber before getting back to the computer desk and putting together as much as we could before buying parts.

Since my Mom was stuck waiting for the plumber, she wanted me to take care of another chore: my Dad's watch from Christmas didn't fit and he needed to go exchange it. He's on oxygen, so we have to move slowly and things take longer. And, he wanted to pick up my Aunt Clara so she could go and buy a watch with us. She was thrilled; and after we got his watch at Wal-Mart, they wanted to get some lunch—Red Lobster lunch because my Dad had been watching some savory advertisements on TV.

At Red Lobster, we had a patient and spunky waiter who moved us to a better table right off. His only fault was that he took our order too fast. As my Dad was eating, he complained that he didn't remember seeing any shrimp or lobster on the menu and wondered why he had ordered catfish at a place like this. Actually, it was because I ordered blackened catfish and he said, "That sounds good. I'll have that too, only fried," but he forgot.

He ate things he wasn't supposed to eat, like three cheese biscuits and French fries and I knew I’d be in trouble with my mom for that. Aunt Clara said the slaw was the best bowl of slaw she had ever eaten. She cried because she was so happy we were together. You can see why I couldn’t just take them straight home, so I took them with me to the car wash where I spent all the quarters I had on entertainment. The Goo Goo Car Wash had a great foaming brush. Pink foam! They loved it and after that, everyone felt revived, including me, and I could finally take them home.

Well, when we got back, my mother had given up on the plumber and was ready to go buy some bits for her never-before-used Craftsman Automatic Screwdriver. It came with instructions which showed how to use it as a drill, but we had to go to Sears to buy the drill bits.

There was no one obviously working at Sears that day except a check-out lady, so I told her what we needed. She said, “Okay, I’ll page someone." 

Before long a young man came out of hiding and we showed him what we had and told him what we needed. He shook his head and said, “I’ll have to find someone else to help you with that. I barely know my own job.”

 The next man led us to a wall of drill bits and kits and assured us that we could buy any size or shape on the rack because all the parts there fit Craftsmen automatic screwdrivers no matter what. “They're all made to work together,” he said. My mother started arguing, nicely, because it looked to us like the round bits wouldn't fit. I asked if they could be returned if they didn't work, and he assured me they could, so wanting to get back to work, we headed to check out.

The check-out-lady, quite aggravated, said, "You can't use these. You need hex bits, but I can't show you where they are because I can’t leave the register."

When a third man came to help, he showed us hex bits in expensive kits and converter sets. We asked him to open one to see if the parts fit. Well, they didn't, so he opened a second expensive set and those didn't fit either. He hunted for a third kit, which  they were out of, but meanwhile, wandering the aisle I found some hex bits in singles! The check-out lady nodded her approval when we bought a couple of sizes for less than a dollar!

Sears sold washers too, but only by the box. We needed two sets of two, so we went to the other side of town to Lowe’s and using their diagrams found the four washers we needed to complete the project and went home. Nearing suppertime on Thursday, we learned that the termite man found no termites in the walls of the house, but the plumber never came. Having no water, we skipped supper and attacked our project again. Already, our brain activity had increased by leaps and bounds.

While I took the dog for a walk around the block, my mother drilled holes in the desktop. When I got back and told her she had drilled into the top and not the bottom, she said, “Well, you should have come back sooner.”

 Well, I turned it over, screwed more holes and put it on right. We would now need some wood filler.

When I was ready to attach the shelf for the keyboard on the underside of the desktop, I lay on my back under the desk with the automatic screwdriver pointed upward and aligned the hole in the shelf support with the drilled hole in the desktop. She held the part in place for me and still lying on my back, I put in the screw. We were all set to finish until I mentioned that I was about to screw up.

That's when we lost it. As we broke down into a laughing hysteria that rendered us dysfunctional, all loose parts came falling down. When she regained composure, Mama put in a desperate plea to a second plumber who promised to come, and though I had been determined to get her an email address before we went to bed, we crashed and left it for this morning.

The second plumber fixed the sink while I took Daddy to the grocery and to the bank. I'm about to cook and wash dishes again, and while there are still printers and speakers to deal with, we might be finished by Sunday. I'm feeling a little addled right now, incompetent, and last but not to go unmentioned, OLD.

Mama’s got email, but no termites and no leak, so I’m taking the dog for a ride. We’re going to the Goo Goo, and I’m sure after that, I’ll be back in the pink.